school is going swell right now, im sick of some classes, i wish i had time for other classes and dont know whats in store of the future but as long as i keep a book opened in front of me that most likley costs 120 bucks used is all that matters right? ah. the life of a college student is ... lame. im so happy im over that i dont know what im gonna do for the rest of my life thing. now i at least have a focus im still a bit undecided but i have a focus and im working on it. its quiet at school especially when you are by yourself. but its cool i go to school and i leave school. just getting by. when some people cry about wanting friends and stuff its kinda lame just accept life as it is --- friends will come to you. but seriously it's time when ur alone just by yourself that can be the greatest times. as much as i hate having to leave home 730 every morning (im not the morning type) sitting on that long bus ride then walking two blocks down to take the other bus and coming home the same way --- its nice and just that independence and isolation really feels good. everyone should take time out of their days just to be with themselves. im not talking spiritualy im just saying go for a walk alone. come back in an hour or two. the time u spend walking and thinking would be much appreciated by yourself when you try it.
work is ok as well. im sorta getting tired of this place. im staying here cuz its all i got right now like if i leave i wouldnt even be able to afford taking the bus. i do want to look for an intern or at least another suitable job thats really good but right now i can't put my mind on it. either a friend better hook me up or ill just wait for the opportunity - im ok right now. i do hope theres an opening at the library im at so i can get a promotion maybe --- but putting all my bets on that is like buying a lotto ticket. chances ill win the jackpot - very unlikely. when the times comes tho, at the lib when the time comes ill be ready. only thing that bugs me is the hours. like i WANT flexibilty its more than a want its a NEED. but yah im in no hurry for that ..... right now
and wooo fasting! yah well its going alright, as i said earlier im not a am type of person. and i dont have an appetite so early which is why on regular days i gulp down oatmeal in the am. when im fasting its just water in the morning but sometmes ill drink a protein shake or something. to keep something in my body for the whole day. dude fasting ... with just water is really bad for metabolism . yikes to me. sometimes ill forget if i even did the morning fast thing and im like huh? did i wake up for it this morning? but yah. opening it in school (or when working) is what kicks ass. (not in a cool way) it sucks like u will keep looking at the clock and ur distracted with ur studies. or if ur to focused on ur studies you will forget to open the fast. but wahtever. im taking irem to class tonight she should be fasting tonight. we'll brake it together like little nerds.
and my freetime?gee, i just chill but i havnt had much freetime lately. trying to pick up extra hours at work when i can so my whole schedule is ... really tight.
i will finish halo 3 this weekend. can't put my hands on the controllers until i have time to and ill storm and kick ass and finish it. also i still gotta finish reading all the books before and i have like ... one book left. i gotta just beat it up and read through it non stop and i should finish it soon enough. i just dont have that drive for reading like i used to. like when i was a kid it was like a book today was returned the next day as i would check out another. i read alot it payed off but i jsut dont have that drive anymore. and that sucks especially with txtbook reading ur like WAAAA and dont wanna read any of it. which reminds me --- i gotta get to my homework...
ill try to do my hw with that look on my face. shit and i work in a bit. too. ok ill keep that look on my face like yaaaah .
so school has een going allright. im not taking as many classes as i usually do but still their tough and are taking my time. i can't wait to see 3:10 with crowe and bale.
did i mention it was my birthday yesterday? well it was and i was born 20 years ago. screw 21. celebrating a decade of your life is pretty neat. i'm an antique now.
so lately i've been a bit ... bored. i dont know i guess things have steadied down for me or i just havn't been doing anything much at all. all year it's been the same i guess. school and work. it's productive but my mind has just been striving for something else ... something - different. i need to get bit by a wolf or something .. like not turn into a werewolf but like fall and get seriously hurt or something. wow i sound crazy but it's just some thrill seeking. i need an adventure. it's been a while since i had a vacation. the last time i went on vacation, was after i went to ny that was actually a break but i consider vacation doing something different than in your daily life. so the last time i did go on vaca was last fall when i went hiking with my family at yosemite. it was fucking hilarious. i borrowed a medium format mamiya (heavy piece of craftyness) bought some 120 expensive ass film and hiked up the fucking rocks with my other camera bag on one shoulder. apparently we loaded the 120 film wrong - a common mistake when someone is experiementing with a 120 mamiya for the first time and so all the hot ass medium format pics ... never were exposed on the film. but it's ok . i'll never hike with a mamiya 645 ever! the closest thing i had of a summer vacation was literally one night (harry potter night) where me and my cousins waited for the book to come out. one of my journalism accomplices was there in line with us and us being david bowie/labyrinth fans just couldn't help but sing dance magic dance at the top of our lungs. (that and i was excruciatingly sleep deprived so i sorta start singing when i lack enough sleep) I SAW MY BABY CRYING AS HARD AS BABE COULD CRY. bowie, why would you toss the poor kid up in the air like that? my cousin from orange county came up here for 3 weeks and 2 of my cousins from new york came for 2 weeks so it was nice having their company but i was full of school and couldnt put enough focus on either, my fam or my school. it was a mess and if i am ever goingto have summer school again (which i will have, i will always take summer courses unless i can afford a month long vacation to alaska in august and a week and a half in southern cal probably in late june or july that same summer) ok as i was saying if i have summer school i am not letting any of my family (unless they are my grandparents) come over and ''chill'' for a couple of weeks. absolutely not. never again sorry but education is important to me and this summer it got really screwed up and wasn't fair for me at all. i would hope others would be more considerate of this statement as well cuz .. .seriously. i'm serious. i'll try to not to take a longer summer course next summer . if i don't need to, i needed to this time. (stupidness)
perhaps one of the other reasons why i've been so bored ish is that life has gotten expensive... more expensive than it has been for me. you can't wish you were rich or wish you had enough money... wishes don't help. you gotta either have it or earn it. if you have it, then good for you. i just gotta work hardER and earn mine.
wooooooooo so HALO 3 is coming in about 2 1/2 weeks maybe 2 3/4 .. i just dontn feel like mathing right now but yah it's coming close and soon it will be over. like when lotr-rotk came out, when the last episode of FMA came and then it's sequel movie, when star wars ep 3 came out, when potc3 came out when hp7-dh came out. woah too many abbreviations but its like all these epics in the past came to it's end and now its like the last thing i've been looking forward to. it's pretty exciting. as of right now i'm trying to finish up all the books then play game 1 and 2 so i can be 'ready' for halo 3, but with school work family and social life thats kinda been slow. but its ok i'll manage. haha
well i got stuff to do, gotta read and my meteorology class is sorta pushing me ... ALOT. and so is my architecture class like the teacher wants us to do a project on a school and some of the projects he's done (hey i get a chance to go out into the city or berk so... hooray!) but i gotta prep myself for it, research, then see and report it. poooooooooop faces.
so i'm done.
oh an here's the new james blunt vid. the chorus is actually pretty nice. the guy got sum good vocals.
yaaaah so... uh yaaaah. where do i start? ive been busy and sort of procrastinating (as always) i should just change my middle name to procrastinate so im M.P.Khan. MPK . Maryam Procrastinate Khan. ill be known as Maryam Pro (that will be what the updated and revised version of my software is called) or maybe MProkhan or MProK (like pro generation) what does crast mean? that would be pretty cool since crastinate comes from latin (crastinus) meaning tomorrow so if im ProTomorrow im Maryam ProTomorrow (pro like the good of tomorrow) and my last name is Khan which contradicts pro. the things i think up of when i dont know what to think of. so im maryam good of tomorrow or the bad. heh. thats pretty cool ... NOT (borat joke)...
well, even though i don't have school ive been busy ... with work. i dont really care because in july im going to go broke so i better save up anyways. if you work you earn that money so noone should say anything because your not gambling begging or stealing. your just signing up for whatever hours are available to work with. it does get annoiying work, because i can't change my schedule as much as i want to. and the hours (time for work) is very limited. ugh
oh well. school starts monday and i am prepared to do well. get the hw done early so u can chill before you sleep. thats what im going to do. but 2 week of school im going to have to push real hard because i have some cousins coming over (and its the 2 harry potter weeks so WOAAAAH) i am going to be busy. its awful timing, the time they are coming and its fustrating how much i have to take out of my schedule to manage everything. and im barely going to have time to chill and stuff with them cuz i got school and work. oh well. i like to keep myself busy. it keeps me knowing that time does exist and that i am alive. i don't know.
whoah ok so i had falafel stuff soaking in whater so i can roll em up n make falafels but one of them, when i wa putting it in the oil, oil splashed onto my toe! (and alot did!) it burned, but its ok. Phew. falafels came out good by the way.
oh well. well i gotta clean my room, tomorrow is fathers day and then its school so im busy but i will hopefully enjoy myself.
i am concerned about one thing. i believe i left all my photographic paper at school in the photo lab's fridge, my name is all overit and one of the frequent go'ers was in one of my classes and talked to me so if i find out that my paper has been used by any student or photo clubmember ... im going to be pissed the fuck off. (hopefully they didnt and hopefully i have it at home) i just dont remember, its been a whole semester since i did dark room processing (wow i didnt do that stuff since last year!) so ill look around home. i know i have some paper at home but i better have it all. and on wednesday night when i go to class i better see it in the fridge (if i left it there) or the photography club owes me 200 dollars (i dont know how much stuff i had in that bag plus pictures i processed so its worth waaay more than 200 but you gotta be nice)
ill try to do my hw with that look on my face. shit and i work in a bit. too. ok ill keep that look on my face like yaaaah .
