so yah im trying to update again..... im trying

school is going swell right now, im sick of some classes, i wish i had time for other classes and dont know whats in store of the future but as long as i keep a book opened in front of me that most likley costs 120 bucks used is all that matters right?  ah. the life of a college student is ... lame.
im so happy im over that i dont know what im gonna do for the rest of my life thing.  now i at least have a focus im still a bit undecided but i have a focus and im working on it. its quiet at school especially when you are by yourself. but its cool i go to school and i leave school. just getting by.  when some people cry about wanting friends and stuff its kinda lame just accept life as it is --- friends will come to you.    but seriously it's time when ur alone just by yourself that can be the greatest times. as much as i hate having to leave home 730 every morning (im not the morning type) sitting on that long bus ride then walking two blocks down to take the other bus and coming home the same way --- its nice and just that independence and isolation really feels good.   everyone should take time out of their days just to be with themselves. im not talking spiritualy im just saying go for a walk alone. come back in an hour or two. the time u spend walking and thinking would be much appreciated by yourself when you try it.

work is ok as well. im sorta getting tired of this place. im staying here cuz its all i got right now like if i leave i wouldnt even be able to afford taking the bus. i do want to look for an intern or at least another suitable job thats really good but right now i can't put my mind on it.  either a friend better hook me up or ill just wait for the opportunity - im ok right now.  i do hope theres an opening at the library im at so i can get a promotion maybe --- but putting all my bets on that is like buying a lotto ticket. chances ill win the jackpot - very unlikely.  when the times comes tho, at the lib when the time comes ill be ready.   only thing that bugs me is the hours. like i WANT flexibilty its more than a want its a NEED.  but yah im in no hurry for that ..... right now

and wooo fasting! yah well its going alright, as i said earlier im not a am type of person. and i dont have an appetite so early which is why on regular days i gulp down oatmeal in the am. when im fasting its just water in the morning but sometmes ill drink a protein shake or something. to keep something in my body for the whole day. dude fasting ... with just water    is really bad for metabolism . yikes to me. sometimes ill forget if i even did the morning fast thing and im like huh? did i wake up for it this morning?  but yah.  opening it in school (or when working) is what kicks ass. (not in a cool way) it sucks like u will keep looking at the clock and ur distracted with ur studies. or if ur to focused on ur studies you will forget to open the fast. but wahtever. im taking irem to class tonight she should be fasting tonight. we'll brake it together like little nerds.

and my freetime?gee, i just chill but i havnt had much freetime lately. trying to pick up extra hours at work when i can so my whole schedule is ... really tight.

i will finish halo 3 this weekend. can't put my hands on the controllers until i have time to and ill storm and kick ass and finish it. also i still gotta finish reading all the books before and i have like ... one book left. i gotta just beat it up and read through it non stop and i should finish it soon enough. i just dont have that drive for reading like i used to.  like when i was a kid it was like a book today was returned the next day as i would check out another.  i read alot it payed off but i jsut dont have that drive anymore. and that sucks especially with txtbook reading ur like WAAAA and dont wanna read any of it.  which reminds me --- i gotta get to my homework...

     ill try to do my hw with that look on my face.  shit and  i work in a bit. too. ok ill keep that look on my face like yaaaah .